Truth my best friend,
my breaker of chains.
I wish I had known you more for most of my days.
I wish I’d been your best friend and partner in crime,
I wish we’d held hands as I walked and always been entwined.
You’re setting me free, breaking me from my pains and my chains.
You are helping me be wild and free but in the realest of ways.
It’s overwhelming and shocking, all these lies I’ve been taught.
Often times I find myself broken, holding you on the floor.
But your magic within, your strong honest sword,
cuts straight through the bullshit that’s been keeping me wrought.
I was a captive to lies, a slave to power play so abusive,
it turned me from me, into an addict caught using.
You’ve come into my life and are making me true again.
No more hard heart, no more pretending seducing.
I stumble and fall backwards, make mistakes and self destruct.
But nothing can shake the fact I’ve felt the beauty of life, with you in my hand’s clutch.
You broke through the ice, shattered the confusion.
You help show me what is good and what is mud sinking in delusion.
I was in cycles and cycles and cycles of pain.
Destroying myself and others around me again.
I lost myself to dead end jobs, seeking approval from mum,
if I stay small maybe then she will not tell me that my me is too much.
Lies spoke ‘you are beneath, look up to her ways,’
even if they make no sense her power always reigned.
The lies told me I’m a fuck up, a show off, a clown.
A flirty too tall girl, born seeking a crown.
Inherently wrong, inherently bad.
Inherently awful, annoying when sad.
I’ve hated this hell, this derision this torture.
Before I knew you I invited it and women accepted in plethora.
Truth I love and adore you, I honour and care.
I need to learn more of you, you are so abundant to share.
You make everything right.
You make everything good.
You are intrinsically bright.
Your are intrinsically just so good.
Truth when I don’t know you,
when I break from your hand.
When I’m confused and in doubt,
I feel I’m wading in sinking sands.
I feel lost without you,
I don’t know where to turn.
You pull me out from the swamps.
Rescue me from that Islay boggy burn.
Truth please stay by my side.
Please hold onto my hand.
Please walk with me in struggles,
I will seek you out when I stand.
You connect me to me.
Connect me to God.
You are the way and the channel,
to all that is holy when I’m lost.
I cant believe I’ve never really known your stunning powerful Grace.
Cant believe we’ve been so fissured, arrogant men took your place.
The loss from your hand,
feels so sad and so real.
I became a puppet to dad,
my soul he very nearly did steal.
But Truth you came along,
like a best friend when drowning.
Speaking sense with such love,
giving hugs that have hope.
I want to learn to honour you more.
And let you help me reconnect my sorrow to my soul.
I will cling to you in the shallows,
to bring me back to my parent, my God.
Thank you for being there for me,
you are my one truest love.
Written January 2021