And that had absolutely nothing, zero to do with me.
But was all about how you wanted me to be the carrier of your seed.
As you’d read somewhere it would affect women’s pregnancies.
You expect me to carry your child.
Whilst you’ve never once made me smile?
You want me to be a carrier of your lineage.
While you want and watch my dreams to die?
You want my womb yet not my soul,
to create your bloodline and control my life?
Want to use me and never allow me to burn bright?
Misogyny runs deep.
Deeper than deep.
I have scars on my arms from the frustration deep,
I have life unlived frustration deep.
I have ghosts and voices in my sleep frustration deep.
Sitting on piles of unreleased albums deep.
Sitting on a burning thirsty soul frustration deep.
Sitting on screams of agony deep.
Sitting on my mums unpainted canvas deep.
Sitting in her unbuilt studio deep,
That dad promised to build her but never intended to deep.
Sitting on feelings of seeing mums bright soul waste away to nothing but a modern day depressed slave deep.
Sitting on my grandmas beaten face frustration deep.
Recycling the cycle of my mother frustration deep.
While I learned of my fathers unfaithfulness frustration deep.
While I lose faith in humanity frustration deep.
As my father still tries to control me frustration. Scream.
But sure, I will just shut up, let my dreams die and just carry your seed?
For what? so I can let my resentment and unfulfilled dreams be spat out on my baby while she weeps?
Just like my own mother did to me, so I’ve lived a life of self hatred see?
Scared of every women hating me so I stay so small, dumbed down and weak?
Can you not see what you are doing to me?
Fuck this I just need to scream.