Elo – My Sister Truthbird

At a point where I was so low,

getting lost in my head.

Churning around false truths,

wallowing in false dread.


A beautiful kind bird swooped down,

Truth written on her wings.

In bright bold colours the word stretches out,

as she speaks honesty naturally sings.


She’s been busy breaking free from her cage,

and in service is showing so many of us her new found ways.

Brushing her gentle feathers of truth against my worry and stress with her Grace.

Showing me how to find my own key to my dark, lonely cage.


Though there are so many chains there that we need to still break,

and I know many errors I will inevitably make.

I will always hold dear and remember this lovely exchange.


And after absorbing the truths and resting in Gods Nature Reserve.

I want to pass it on to my fellow birds as they swoop and swerve,

So they can learn to soar and save them from some of my mistakes,

in the same way Elo Truthbird offered her knowledge, it is giving me faith.


I want every conversation or bird song with my brother sister birds,

to be an empowering passing on of the keys.

Instead of commiserating in error and injury,

I want it to go more the way my dear sister’s showing me.


I just pray that my darling sister Turthbird,

can allow herself the same attention, care and Grace,

that she is showing so many others as she gifts them the chance to hear truth, and so awake.

I pray that she will swoop and swirl and cry with God, releasing whats left of her restraints.

And under his wings she will find refuge, in amongst any of her life’s pains.


Because this bird deserves to fly so utterly, totally free,

free from any gaslighting, neglect, abuse or agony.

Free from abdicating herself and all of her needs.

Free to serve when she wants and fly just for her, in the knowing, it is ok ‘to just be me.’


Written 11/09/2020 After a phone call with Elo


Dear God

Dear God

Give me wings of courage that know no bounds
And feathers made of love
Let me fly in your warmth and light
And be your messenger, your Dove.

Let me know of what you’re made of
Let me know your heart of truth
Let me walk amongst my sisters and brothers
And only do your good.

Let your channel of the holy spirit
Connect unto my heart
Let your unbound love heal me
Until ever feather is made up of your parts.

And I will soar to you and you to me
And we will help and heal
And I will no longer be a coward
And my heart from you I will no longer conceal.


Written September 2019


Barely a human

All you see me as is breasts and a hole

Not really a person, let alone a soul

All you see me as is a person to make you feel good

This is not about me, fuck you, pass me the food.


All you see me as is fairly dim and stupid

No brain, no heart, no mind, barely a human

All of my notes inside my throat

Mean nothing to you, wrap your hands around me till I choke.


All of my heart beats in rhythm to music

Yet I am just your puppet, you are my cupid

Should I never sing my own song?

Write my own melody?

Would I never know God and all of Gods plans for me?


Instead, should I really just bow down

And serve your superior arrogant crown?

Join that farm of destruction, tear everyone down?

Wade around in your shit till I’m brown?

Abdicate myself to you till I’m fully drowned?


Written May 2020


Photo credit: unsplash.com










My Shame

You propped me up, propelled and were my propeller,

spinning me round in cycles of darkness, gift wrapped as pleasure.

Wafting my life into a constant burning flame,

I was stoking the fire running head first into more pain.


You’ve propped up my spine,

I thought I was made of you,

I thought the warm hot flashes were just a part of lives truth.

I believed you were me and I was you,

believed I deserved every harsh judgement, criticism, ridicule.


I do not know where you came from,

where you started? where I took over? where you end and I begun?


You have brought so much disorder to my life,

so much so I can barely look myself in the eye.


I want to go back and do it all again,

without you there I would see so much more sense.


You plunged me into the arms of dangerous men,

and led me to rifle through things that were not mine, I knew no Amen.


The nights I spent out of body in the arms of taking men,

unable to face myself in the cold light of day, then to just go and do it all again.


You have taken me down into the swamp,

lathered me up good, I am now filthy, you won.


But now I am shocked and learning, you are the mud and inside there is possibly Grace,

I have new friends telling me I can learn about love, God, mercy and Faith.


Thank you for bringing me Mary, her words and her faith,

Before this women have only ever seen my shame.


“Sometimes the bad stuff is easier to believe” Julia Roberts would say,

Pretty Women knew how the contrast of love, brought up emotional disarray.


Written 01/09/2020

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