Nothing gentle survived that farm,
lambs were drowned, deer were shot.
Baby bunnies and hares mowed down at silage time,
baby calves stuck at their mothers hips from too much rich draft.
Nothing gentle survived that farm,
only screams and shouts and slamming doors…so many slamming doors.
Raging, ragged, angry mum,
draining, demanding, dehumanising dad.
Nothing gentle survived that farm,
apart from you Tessa, and your warm caring paws and soft mats of long hair.
But you were of no use to them,
cuddles, love and care seemingly so disposable, insignificant and useless.
Why didn’t you chase sheep, perform and be vicious like they demanded?
Somehow you stayed warm, my only teacher of warmth, I miss you.
Nothing gentle survived that farm,
no gentle breeze, only roaring gales.
Power cuts matching the black energy surges,
broken plates and broken sugar bowls.
Nothing gentle could survive that farm
Bonnie was traumatised, I read her poems.
She was not worth your time but to me she taught me more in a day than you have ever about love.
An inferior human to you, a living angel to me.
Nothing gentle survived that farm.
Remember when I tried to have a gentle conversation querying God with Tom and Danielle
You sneered and ridiculed me like I was a leper you looked down on,
All I wanted was to ask about God without being torn apart.
They didn’t stand up for me but I knew they felt the destruction coming to me.
Danielles apartment in Paris and the trip to see Monet sticks within and stirs all of the could have beens.
Nothing gentle survived that farm.
I was so desperate for a rest,
from your emotional demands.
I’d clean every inch of the blackened kitchen,
scrubbing the table legs that the dogs had desperately gnawed in frustration;
I knew their feeling.
Sugary cereal would numb me out
And watching neighbours for those 20 minutes of peace
Until we heard the door….
You would yell out and we would all come running
To service you….our captor, boss and King.
Written April 2020
