One thing I have learnt is you can’t love someone to love you.
The worst thing possible on this earth is to want something from another, especially love – the most precious graceful gift. How wrong and entitled was I taught, love I know nothing about you, I know you not. God will you teach me how to love?
Wanting or needing anything from anyone else is a true form of prison. I would sooner be locked up for 20 years with a heart free from demand than keep living free like this, with a heart wrestling others to the ground with unspoken needs and wants. We all exhaust ourselves into crippling old age trying to extrapolate a feeling from another’s precious heart. Missing the whole damn point of life, to give our love. Fuck.
The pinnacle of worstness, ‘la pire,’ is to discourage anyone from ever being anything other than their truest, fullest self.
Imagine that we, as humans do that to one another, discourage each others full beauty and sunlight of potentiality just so it doesn’t challenge us within, or worse, because we would rather a feeling from them than care for their fullest soul expression.
How debased can we get as humans when God wants us to stretch our unique and glorious wings and shine, and take only joy in others doing the same. I want to encourage that in others and children, even if I am too much of a coward to do it myself.
Written November 2020